Do you want to grow?
Do you want to make a difference?
Do you want to be respected?
3 times yes? Let’s work on you!
So you’re a bit shy, that’s ok. We’ll get there together. Just take my hand and we will walk along the path of personal growth. Let’s start with sharing a story.
I grew up being the Benjamin of 3 boys. My oldest brother is 5 years older than me, and the middle one is only 1 year older. I got to be the ‘gift’ of the family, I came unannounced.
Now my brothers were very nice, and sometimes even well-behaved kids. Due to the big age difference between my oldest brother and me, we didn’t get the chance to really connect before I was well in my teenage years. Only when I was 20 – oh shit I’m growing old fast – we were bonding when we had some beers together in a bar.
I kind of grew up with the middle boy as my companion. There wasn’t much of a choice, we shared rooms for almost 14 years! Going to school together, playing with the same neighborhood kids, getting in trouble, you name it. As we were both growing older the last couple of years, our relation has turned out to be somewhat loose. But the respect for one another never fades, no matter what tricks we pull on eachother, there’s always a man-hug whenever we meet.
My school-time, that is the first 13 or so years of my life I was very shy and had no clear connection with my classmates. I was the person that no-one will remember on school reunions. I don’t mind, I AM here, now, in the present.
Yes, I am still a dreamer.
Yes, I am still the kid who hates combing his hair.
Yes, I am still the observant kind.
And all of those things got me where I am today.
By being a dreamer, you get to visualize your own world, in which you are KING. People bow before you and everone likes you for who you are. Problems don’t exist in your own world, and if they do, it’s not your problem.
I still dislike combing my hair, so when it’s not an inch long I tend to style it with some gel and my fingers. You don’t need to conform to whatever opinion other people have about you, you just need to look good in your own opinion.
By observing people and situations you learn about how different people can behave. Observing whatever my brothers were doing wrong so I didn’t make the same mistakes got me though childhood smoothly. I still like to observe, just sit on a bench somewhere and look at people. Aren’t we an interesting species?
So what if I was a shy kid! I changed for the better. Now I’m not saying I got super-popular all at once, it was more that my mindset had changed from thinking about what other people thought of me and doing whatever the hell I want.
I had a girlfriend at the time and she told me to just get out of my shell or shove it. Be more confident, just say what you want. I took the jump and, something happened.
Something sparked in my mind. This spark lit a small fire of courage inside of me, which lead to me not being scared anymore of contributing to conversations and sharing my mind. I started to grow more confident.
With developing courage, along came a positive self image and an opinion. I let myself be heard, and people wanted to actually know my opinion, albeit on a small scale. You have to start somewhere.
Now this was all a very long time ago (say mid 90′s) and gladly, people change over time. I have changed.
Tremendously.
The moral of the story becomes clear. It starts somewhere, if someone gives you the spark, even if you have to do it yourself, even if I need to do it for you, YOU will develop yourself and be a more confident person.
My rules:
- Say it. Voice your opinion, do not be held back by the little voice inside your head and shush yourself. You can’t DO that to yourself! If you have an opinion just say it! Contribute to conversations, don’t be rude by interrupting people but add value.
- Is someone not liking you for who you are? FUCK them. Screw these sorry-ass people who keep you down and let you down. Drop them like a pan of hot potatoes, just from the stove, burning in your hand. If they do not want to accept you for who you are, you don’t need them. They do NOT respect you. Get rid of them. Be gone!
- Connect. It’s a big world out there, I know. In my short life I’ve been in almost a dozen countries including New-Zealand, China and Spain. All with their own culture and language, opinions and values.
I invite – no urge – you to connect with me! My preferred method for now is on Twitter, where I can promptly answer your question. Remember, don’t be held back by what other people think of it.
Start NOW.
Voice your opinion. Connect with me here.
Please share.
